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Susan's story
Susan's story
“My Community Psychiatric Nurse was my saving grace……she talked to me like an adult”
Susan now works as a mental health awareness trainer. She has used several mental health and other services on her journey to becoming well again
"My first experience of using mental health services was back in 1993 when I had a breakdown after lots of things went wrong in my life – surviving a relationship that had become abusive, losing my home, losing my parents within 6 months of one another, redundancy and losing my home for a second time."
"My daughter had grown up and moved away and I found myself jobless, an orphan and a single mum with an empty nest, in fact no nest at all. The struggle to start again eventually proved to be too difficult and I had a major breakdown.”
“I came to in a Psychiatric Unit and felt I’d had a most peculiar dream! I went home shortly afterwards but a couple of weeks later I had a second psychotic episode. This time I realised it was no dream, it took me 6 months to get back to work."
"In 1997 I had another major breakdown that led me to make a serious attempt at suicide. At the time I was not best pleased to have survived but thanks to the support of family, friends and services, especially my CPN, I began to think about my life and how I lived it and most of all how I could live with my manic depression as part of my life.”
'It doesn’t have to be like this'
“I had known my Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) from one of the Community Mental Health Teams, since 1995. She was part of the team that had monitored my mental health since I had received a diagnosis of manic depression (after the second episode). She was brilliant and on several occasions my saving grace. She always spoke to me like an adult, in fact I would go so far to say she treated me like an equal. ‘It doesn’t have to be like this’ she would say’. It was a different, more positive attitude!"
“Some people were very patronising or tried to treat me as if I was an idiot but she was always encouraging. I have manic depression but I’m not stupid and I’m not exactly a shy, retiring person when I’m firing on all cylinders, so to speak! As a woman of a certain age I had already accumulated a lifetime of experiences – brought up a child, travelled the world and held my own in a world which seemed to me to be increasingly hostile. We often talked about philosophical questions and eventually she suggested that I do an Open University course and she encouraged me to use other services.”
“I went to South Place Resource Centre and joined in with music classes, creative writing and I joined the women’s group. My CPN also put me I touch with Springboard where I brushed up on my IT skills and learnt some new ones."
“With the encouragement of the staff at Springboard I began to consider the possibility of doing a University Degree, something I had to forgo when I was 18.”
"I went to Richmond College and did an access course in Social Science. In 2001 I went to Kingston University to do 6 years of part-time study. My CPN told me about disabled student allowances and with the assistance of the University occupational health service I was able to get a computer, internet access and a mentor. In 2006 I was awarded a first class honours degree! On January 9 2008 I tossed my mortar board in the air at the awards ceremony at the Barbican.”
Looking forward
“For the past three years I’ve been employed as a Mental Health awareness trainer working with various front-line staff. Working has made me feel part of the world and it is good to be back. It felt a bit strange at first being on show to strangers, using my personal experience to help them overcome their prejudices etc but now I feel empowered and in control – I’m no longer a victim of manic depression – its just part of the puzzle that makes up my life.”
"I want to carry on working, maybe start my own consultancy company. I want to be able to pay my mortgage and most of all I want to be able to make a difference to the nonsense perception that if you’re mad your bad and dangerous. Just because you have mental health problems it doesn’t mean your life is over. I’m more in control of my life. I have rebuilt my confidence and I am back in the driver’s seat...My daughter once said to me when I was very ill, ‘I want my mum back’. Personally I feel she now has a better version of her mum back!”